Wednesday, July 19, 2017

How can I possibly forgive him?


Despite how it might appear impossible, forgiveness is a crucial part of recovery for the partner of a sex addiction treatment. To forgive is not to forget. Forgiving means being able to remember the past without suffering from the pain all over again. It's recalling -- but attaching different beliefs about the events, and it's a willingness to permit the pain to get decreased relevance with time. Knowing the pain, compulsion and despair that the pornography addiction help has undergone from sex addiction counselors can open avenues to compassion.

To forgive is important primarily for oneself, not for the person one forgives. The opposite of forgiveness is resentment. When we repent, we experience the pain and anger all over again. Serenity and resentment cannot coexist.
sex addiction therapist

The practice of forgiveness begins with acknowledging that a wrong has been done to you. You have to recognize that you have strong feelings about what happened and you need to feel and process those feelings. You're entitled to be angry or hurt. Ideally, you can share those feelings with the person that has hurt you in couples counseling. If that is not possible, then you're able to share the feelings with your therapist or support group. After that, you can choose whether to remain in a relationship with that person. In either circumstance, forgiveness does not imply permission to continue hurtful behaviors. As part of your own treatment, you want to decide which behaviors you can accept in your relationships and which you cannot.

The principal aim of forgiveness is to heal yourself. In a partnership affected by sex addiction therapist, forgiveness is aided by evidence of the partner's changed behavior and commitment to treatment. These are also elements in rebuilding trust. For many couples, forgiving and learning to trust again go together. Both take time, making amends, continued treatment and steady, continual, trustworthy behavior on the part of the addict.

After the acting out has stopped, it's critical to not use his previous behavior as a "hook" to punish or manipulate him. When a desire for revenge exists, you have not forgiven, and you see him in one dimension ("Bastard"). The capability to see him as a whole person (he's not only sex addiction counseling, he's many things) will help you move forward. Couples therapy can help you move toward a sense of him as a multidimensional person with ongoing issues.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Portable solar power



As the cost of solar cells has declined, the industry has started to increase the physical size of individual solar modules. This not only has reduced manufacturing costs, but, because of the larger modules, has also reduced the number of field wiring connections needed to install the same size system. This market trend has also increased the weight of each module and the size of the aluminum frames and heavy tempered glass.

Smaller wattage solar modules ( for example: GOAL ZERO NOMAD 100)  first manufactured during the 1980s for off-grid and battery charging applications, are becoming harder to find as manufacturers have rushed to supply the faster-growing market for larger residential and commercial systems. In addition, as module sizes have increased, the 12-volt DC nominal voltage (actually 16 to 17 volts) standard that was first used with smaller modules was too low to handle the higher wattage of these larger modules.

Most modules over 125 watts now have a nominal 24-volt DC (actually 30 to 39 volts) output that is too high to directly charge 12-volt batteries or power most low-voltage DC devices. In addition, solar charge controllers that can match higher-voltage solar modules with lower-voltage batteries are expensive and sized for much larger systems. This means it can be a challenge to find smaller low-cost solar systems suitable for charging 12-volt batteries and re-charging 12-volt electronic devices.

Although smaller 12-volt solar modules are becoming harder to find and cost more per watt than larger wattage modules, you can now buy portable fold-up solar modules with built-in voltage regulators specifically designed for charging 12-volt batteries. This means you can connect these fold-up solar modules directly to a battery without the need for a separate solar charge controller or other electrical components typically needed for a fixed solar installation.

Several years ago the largest fold-up solar modules available were under 5 watts, about enough power to keep a cell phone or iPod charged. However, non-glass modules which can be folded-up to the size of a small book are now available in larger 25- to 30-watt sizes, which will easily power a laptop computer or keep your boat/RV battery fully charged. A portable 12-volt DC module with a 25-watt rating can provide more than 2 amps of output in full sun, yet can be easily folded up to fit in your car’s glove box or a camping backpack when not needed. A module this size can keep your fishing boat’s trolling motor or laptop computer battery fully charged in addition to recharging your cell phone and iPad.

Fold-up modules typically include a metal grommet in each corner, making it easy to tie on the hood of a car or deck of a boat, or to suspend between two trees when camping. Fold-up solar modules are advertised as having a rugged construction and long-life, but I am not sure I would use these for permanent installations or where these would be subject to months of hostile weather. However, including one of these flexible modules in a bug-out bag or as part of your emergency preparation supplies is almost mandatory these days.

Many of us would feel helpless today without our cell phones, iPod’s, Kindles, Nooks, laptops, iPads, digital cameras, email devices, and portable radios, and since we can easily recharge these devices in any nearby wall outlet, we never think about their limited battery run time. In fact, most of these electronic devices will be totally useless in less than 24 hours if we suddenly find ourselves without utility power for recharging. Of course, if you have to evacuate due to a fast-approaching wildfire, hurricane, tornado, or chemical spill, packing all these electronic books, videos, and games may not be your first concern. However, taking along a cell phone, portable radio, and a flashlight will keep you in communication with the outside world and make life much less threatening during a crisis, assuming you have a way to keep them charged.

Of course you could pack a ton of “AA” and “AAA” batteries, which will keep most portable radios and flashlights operating for weeks. However, today’s cell phones and portable computer devices utilize built-in high-capacity battery packs that cannot be replaced. In addition to having varying voltages, most of these built-in batteries can only be recharged using a special power connector and battery charger.

Designers of these portable electronic devices know that most daily recharging will be from a 120-volt AC wall outlet, but utility power may not be available during emergencies or on a camping trip.

All of the portable solar modules represented in this article include a large complement of DC plug adapters and a “female” 12-volt DC auxiliary car (cigarette lighter) outlet. This means it is now possible to recharge almost any electronic device that includes its own 12-volt DC car charger.

Most of the adapter cables supplied with each fold-up solar panel will also include a set of large spring clamps to easily attach to your car or boat battery terminals for emergency recharging. Of course solar modules cannot charge your batteries at night, so if you find yourself stranded with a dead car battery, you will be waiting for sunrise before getting back on the road!

If your emergency power needs are limited to portable radios and flashlights that still use “flashlight” batteries, I found a really great battery charger called AccuManager that can recharge all sizes of flashlight batteries, including the rectangular 9-volt batteries typically found in many portable radios and electronic games. What I really like about this charger is that it has electronic charger controls that will sense what type battery is inserted in any of the multiple charging slots and will separately adjust the recharging voltage and current for each specific battery, and charge multiple batteries at the same time.

This is a great feature since Ni-Cad, Li-ion, and NiMH rechargeable batteries each have a totally different charging cycle. Of course, this means you will need to replace any expendable batteries in your devices with the more expensive rechargeable batteries, but you now will be able to operate these electronic devices and flashlights almost indefinitely using solar power and this battery charger.

This charger also includes its own 12-volt DC plug which exactly matches the adaptor cable furnished with these fold-up solar modules. Although this charger is very lightweight, it is still too large for a tightly packed bug-out bag, so it is more suitable for RV or remote cabin use.

The criminal world is also starting to realize several thousand dollars’ worth of solar modules will easily fit in the back of an old pickup truck, so theft is becoming a concern for owners of solar modules mounted on remote cabins in sparsely populated areas. For this reason, I am getting calls from people looking for a solar array they can easily move outside during weekend use or a power outage, and then bring back inside when they leave or the utility power is operating again. This is a great application for fold-up modules since several can be wired together to increase capacity and temporarily tied down on the south-facing roof of a cabin, woodshed, or storage building.


For example, combining the output of four 25-watt fold-up modules will produce more than 8 amps of 12-volt DC power which can recharge two deep-cycle 6-volt golf cart batteries. When wired in series to provide 12-volts, these batteries can power a small DC to AC inverter that will power a microwave oven, television, or small well pump. This portable solar power system will also have the capacity to power multiple low-voltage lights in a multi-room cabin or RV. For extended run time, I would first convert any 12-volt DC fluorescent or incandescent light fixtures you are using to 12-volt LED lamps, which will allow your battery charge to last up to four times longer.

Since most of the larger wattage fold-up modules can cost more than $200, there are several low-cost alternatives if you only need solar power for emergency lighting. Solar-powered lights for camping are now available for less than $65. They are lightweight and will easily fit in a bug-out-bag.

I like the portable solar light shown in the previous picture, as this fold-up desk lamp fits into slots on the back of the included solar module for packing. This model includes a long connecting cable so the solar module can be placed outside a tent, car window, or cabin, while the light can be placed by a nearby desk or bed. This light also includes a built-in photocell which turns the light off during the day to save battery drain in case you forget to turn it off. Although not much larger than your fist, this miniature desk lamp is very bright and will run many hours on a charge.


It is now much easier to find a solar-powered battery charger in a size that fits your budget and emergency needs. However, it is important to take inventory of all electronic devices you now own and decide which ones are absolute necessities to operate during an emergency. I recommend shopping for a car adapter charger that fits more than one device.

For example, although my wife and I have different brands and models of cell phones, I discovered they both have the same charger plug and can use the same charger. When I purchased a portable radio and several LED-style flashlights, I selected models that use the same size and type of batteries. This simple plan will make it easier for a single fold-up solar module to charge multiple devices, and will help reduce the need for multiple chargers, batteries, and adapter cables.

Remember, during an extended emergency, all of your cell phones, laptops, electronic devices, and flashlights will be totally useless after the first day if you have no way to recharge them, so keep this in mind when planning for your family’s safety.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Defining Business Blogging Success

Defining Business Blogging Success

When talking with blog or M&O Account Teams about new clients, it is inevitable that I will ask if there is a blog involved. There are simply too many advantages to enabling a web site with fresh, themed content that is well structured for SEO benefits and that also offers a great platform for creative promotion, not to consider it in the online marketing mix. However, the mis-perceptions about what a blog is and is not abound, even with self-described “blogging experts”.

Despite that, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable question for a company to ask: “Why should we have a blog and what will it do for us?” Answering that question in the most effective way possible starts with understanding the business and marketing goals of the company. Too many SEOs and blogging consultants focus on the mechanical capabilities of a blog and not on the business goals that can be met.

Blogs are simply tools and are only as effective as the programs and people put in place to use them. The degree to which company goals can be met with the applications and current/future benefits of a blog are what we use to determine whether a business blog is appropriate or not.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Guest Post: Amish Quilts For Sale



Not just anyone can produce an Amish quilt. They are made by Amish people.

A book written by Bettina Havig "Amish Quiltmaker," says there is a difference among Amish quilts and Amish made quilts. Amish quilts are those truly used in Amish homes. Amish-made quilts are made by an Amish quilter and sold to help supplement the household's income.

The quilts used by the Amish in their homes are actually rather simple and utilitarian. They are not at all like the detailed quilts Amish quilters produce to sell.

Instead, the quilts used by the Amish in their homes use simple solid color fabrics and simple piecing designs. Treadle sewing machines are used by many quilt makers in Amish communities for their quilt projects. They typically use the treadle sewing machine to piece the quilt top. Then, the whole thing is hand quilted using a large floor frame to stretch it out.

You've probably noticed that you don't see a lot of applique in Amish or Amish made quilts?

There is a reason. Having explains that the Amish simply don't think it's frugal to layer fabric without need. They look at layering fabric as frivolous and not an good use of fabric.

Whether a home quilt has small prints in it or not often comes down to the community's acceptance. Some cautious communities will allow a small printed fabric to be used in home quilts. The church usually has vast input in the community's opinion. The fact that some Amish communities are a little less conservative explains why you might see an occasional print in an Amish home quilt.

Now that you know this background information, why can't you make an Amish quilt? Amish is a religious companionship. It's a Christian denomination known for its conservative, simple way of life. The church dates back to the late 1600s. It would be disrespectful to claim to have made an Amish quilt if you were not indeed Amish.

What you can do is create an Amish inspired quilt. Select your quilt block pattern that you will use. Insure it;s a simple quilt block, and that it's not too elaborate or it won't fit the trademark simplicity of the Amish.

Also select your colors accordingly. Keep the colors simple. The quilt should not be too bright or bold, although from time to time Amish quilters use jewel tones in their quilts to make them sparkle.

Colors like red or yellow aren't allowed to be used in sewing projects by some communities. Your Amish inspired quilt should not have many prints.

Most Amish quilts have borders...sometimes more than one border. Borders are included in Amish quilts because they are an effective, simple use of fabric. You definitely want to include a border on your Amish inspired quilt.

As you know by now, you will not see a lot of embellishing on Amish quilts. Your Amish inspired quilt, then, should also have no embellishment. It is rare to have buttons on articles of Amish clothing, they certainly have no place embellishing a quilt.

The Amish rely on hook and eye closures and snaps for most of their every day clothing. Trousers may have a button for security.

Amish quilts don't need a lot of embellishing or bright colors because the hand work of the quilters is what makes them truly beautiful and extraordinary. The muted colors and simple patterns allow the art of the quilted stitches to shine through. Elaborate quilting designs on a simple backdrop create quite a contrast!

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

What Not To Do With Your Business Blog


What Not To Do With Your Business Blog

This morning, and I mean really early morning, I went about my weekly perusal of about 50 or so SEO and SEM blogs. For the most part this is a very informative and satisfying experience. However, there are a few barriers to blog reader experience that I feel especially obligated to point out. These observations are relevant for any business blog:

  • Don’t make readers register or login to make a comment. What, you’re too lazy to manage all the comment spam? Or install a better spam filter? You’re lucky to get people to your blog in the first place. Why make it inconvenient to interact?
  • Please don’t publish content in PDF of MS Word format that would be just as fine as a web page. I hear you saying, what? Yes, there are a few blogs out there that post using a blog content management system, but publish longer articles, white papers, etc in other formats. At least warn readers before they click on the link.
  • Why oh why must so many blogs make it difficult to subscribe? Get an RSS button up above the fold. Add your RSS url to an auto discovery tag in the head template. If you really want to capture extra readers, add an RSS to email option like the one offered at Feedblitz.
  • Putting a lot of contextual ads (especially un-customized ads) on top or within the posts is just plain ugly and inconvenient for the reader. Seeing those ads instantly drops credibility for the blog and makes it look desperate.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Sourcing Content for Business Blogs

Sourcing Content for Business Blogs

Blogs are useful for many marketing and communication purposes. They’re also useful simply as software that manages content. Businesses can use blogs to communicate a corporate vision, to build thought leadership corporate-wide or for subject matter experts. Blogs can be very useful in support of public and media relations efforts and they are certainly excellent tools for making a site more search friendly with fresh content that attracts incoming links.

One of the best resources for blog content comes out of interactions with prospects and customers. If an organization can tap into the flow of dialog that happens between front line employees such as sales people and customer support there is an abundance of valuable content available. If customers and potential customers have questions about certain topics, then it’s pretty likely that many others will too.

Many times, an organization is already capturing this kind of information formally or informally. All it takes is a few phone calls or emails to the right people/departments in the organization to start leveraging the insight that comes from those interactions.